12.13.07

I was channel surfing yesterday and flipped past Oprah (who I personally find to be the Devil) and she announces that she's giving away the BIGGEST prize yet and the camera pans around to all the audience members who are practically wetting themselves in anticipation ......and the box lifts to reveal a silver god - or so one would assume by the facial expressions of the incontinent audience. Yes, apparently the BIGGEST prize yet is a gleaming silver refrigerator with a HD flat screen Television built in. Because you know nothing says useful in the Kitchen like a giant, mammoth fridge with an exorbitantly expensive TV on the front. Then the camera goes again to the laughing/crying/jumping for joy/crapping their pants audience who actually look like they don't have a doorway wide enough to fit this enormous, overblown monstrosity, let along any food to put in it. But they aren't even considering a useful application for this gift, they are caught up in the euphoria of getting free junk. Since when did people start bribing guests to come on their show? Remember the good old days when you had to earn your free junk by knowing with certainty the retail price of dish soap?