somehow i managed today on a certain level just fine. i worked til 2:00, laid in the sun with mrs locoweed, her mum and the assorted kiddies, went to wal-mart to look at rafts for the lake. i've found it's all about staying busy, preferably in a crowd of people. then came my critical error. about 4:00 i went home.... and there was no one there. the mum was not laying on the porch where i had expected her to be. the house was quiet. i laid in the sun in all that quiet and it happened, the thing i'd been fighting against all day.
i got blisteringly mad

on the upside: my tan is coming along very nicely

on the downside: i want to tell someone to go f*** himself and the horse he rode in on