sooo the dress was a disaster, not lovely and simple on me at all. i looked like a chubby reject from a midsummers night tale. and not a charming chubby reject either. so i have ordered afresh. below are the two options. the first because i am in love with it and must try it on in person despite the fact it will probably look horrifying and the second because i think it may actually fit.
Option 1: Nordstrom (possibly arriving today, O how i love you Nordstrom, let me count the ways...) YAY

Option 2: JCrew... (Possibly arriving ANYTIME since the tracking they provide is substandard)

Both seem a bit short but mrs Locoweed assures me that models are 6' tall and i'm not so the dress may in fact be longer than it appears...
Option 1 is 35" shoulder to hem
Option 2 'falls above the knee'. (thank you jcrew for your attention to detail)